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Lang-8 is a great system, in my opinion, but it’s also slightly flawed. The corrections are enormously helpful but, since both the correcter and the poster don’t fully know the other language, the only useful comments are written in their native language which the other doesn’t know.
I’ve tried Google Translate, Jim Breen translate, and even manually looking up each word to no use. , I give up – maybe somebody on here can translate it. I made an attempt (in poor Japanese) to try and explain which parts I couldn’t figure out but his response to that I couldn’t read either. I’ve placed both responses here.
Original response: ただの和訳方法になってしまうのですが、コンマで挿入してある部分は「～であるコンマの前のもの」という風にであるで修飾すると英語の授業で習いました。
His new response after I tried to explain which parts I didn’t know in Japanese: う～ん。括弧の中はついでだから訂正がわかったら大丈夫。
括弧は、コンマの中身にであるをつけて直前の言葉の前におくと英語を和訳できるってことなんだけど。Maybe somebody can translate this, many thanks to the person who does!
Original response: tada no (just a) wayaku (Japanese translation) houhou (method) ni natte shimau no desu ga, -> I’d say this means : “I might just be falling into a method of Japanese translation, but…
konma de sounyuu shite aru bubun ha (~dearu konma no mae no mono) -> about the part where you insert something via the use of a comma, the comma before dearu (Not sure here).to iu furi ni de aru de shuushoku suru (modifying “dearu” in said way) -> eigo no jugyo de naraimashita -> I learned something in English
I don’t know your text really, so it is difficult.
Here is the full conversation:
My original line: 私は有名の歌手な初音ミクのぽっぴっぽの歌が好きですよ
His initial correction: 私は日本で有名な歌手である初音ミクのぽっぴっぽという歌が好きですよ（ただの和訳方法になってしまうのですが、コンマで挿入してある部分は「～であるコンマの前のもの」という風にであるで修飾すると英語の授業で習いました。）
(I understood the correction but nothing in the parenthesis)He added: みっくみくですね～
I explained (in bad Japanese) which parts I didn’t understand: 私は訂正が分かるしかし、私はパーレンが分かりませんでした。ありがとうございます
He replied: う～ん。括弧の中はついでだから訂正がわかったら大丈夫。
括弧は、コンマの中身にであるをつけて直前の言葉の前におくと英語を和訳できるってことなんだけど。I didn’t understand any of his replies so there wasn’t any point in going further, I came here after giving up trying to translate.
Next time you write a lang-8 post, also type in English what you were trying to say: 1. It helps them understand what the post is *supposed* to mean, but also 2. Using any English in your post will make it more likely that corrector will try and give you advice in English (if they are fluent enough). It’s helped me before (and it was actually suggested by one of my correctors) :)
What I can figure out is that in the parentheses he is talking about something he learned in his english class.
である で 修飾する -> polish up (writing) by (using) de aru
de aru -> is like “to be” so he is talking about something he learned about using “to be” to somehow make your writing a bit fancier.
But he also said that it was fine if yu understood his first correction. Whatever he is going on about “de aru” would just make it sound a bit fancier, I guess?he added this “de aru” here: 私 は 日本 で 有名 な 歌手 である 初音ミク You didn’t have this “de aru” here. I understood his correction of you using yuumei no (need to use na here). I’m not sure why he is so on about the “de aru” in this place.
I think he is saying that using “de aru” there is kind of like using a comma in english.
である is the more formal version of です.
日本で有名な歌手である初音ミク would perhaps be like saying: “Hatsune Miku, who’s a famous singer in Japan…”
“I like the song called Po Pi Po by Hatsune Miku, a famous singer in Japan.”
But I really don’t know if that’s what he is getting at in regards to である and commas, I don’t know enough to give a real answer.
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