Home Forums The Japanese Language Lyrics translation help

This topic contains 11 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  missingno15 11 years, 6 months ago.

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  • #39770

    eru777
    Member

    I tried to translate a song by rei harakami “owari no kisetsu”

    Can the fluent people tell me what kind of errors I have made , etc? Like a correction of sorts. Thanks in advance

     

     

    扉の陰で 息を殺した かすかな言葉はさようなら
    At the shadow of the door, I held my breath
    Faint words , goodbye
     

    6時発の 貨物列車が 窓の彼方でガタンゴトン
    The cargo train of six o’clock,
    Beyond the window, clickety clack
     

    朝焼けが燃えているので 窓から招き入れると
    In the fire of the burning dawn, from the window, beckoning
    笑いながら入りこんで来て 暗い顔を紅く染める
    While laughter comes penetrating , gloomy faces are dyed dark red
    それで救われる気持ち
    And then, I get the feeling of salvation
    今頃は 終わりの季節 つぶやく言葉はさようなら
    About this time today, the season of the end; murmured words “goodbye”
    6時起きの あの人の顔が 窓の彼方でチラチラ
    Waking up at six o’clock, that person’s face, beyond the window, flickering
    朝焼けが燃えているので 窓から招き入れると
    In the fire of the burning dawn, from the window, beckoning
    笑いながら入り込んできて 暗い顔を紅く染める
    While laughter comes penetrating , gloomy faces are dyed dark red
    それで救われる気持ち
    And then, I get the feeling of salvation
     

    Hey! Lip them? Lip them? What?
    #39772

    you are the wrong place if you are looking for “fluent” people lol

    Just post it on lang-8 and you will probably get a few people correcting it, I think Joel is the only person here who will actually bother to go through it all and correct it.

    #39777

    The forum of an absolute beginner’s textbook? Yup, that’s where all the fluent kids hang out! :P

    Probably the most knowledgeable/experienced is missingno15, but he’s still a… “beginner” *cue music*
    Your best bet is Lang-8, as Mark said.

    #39778

    eru777
    Member

    I posted it on lang-8 and a girl corrected the Japanese . What a joke. As if Rei Harakami doesn’t know his own language. (Or knew, RIP)

    Hey! Lip them? Lip them? What?
    #39793

    missingno15
    Member

    Probably the most knowledgeable/experienced is missingno15

    DID SOMEONE CALL FOR ME?

    , but he’s still a… “beginner” *cue music*

    Nigga moments are unpredictable, but they all end up bad. If they had their own category, nigga moments would be the third leading killer of black men behind pork chops and F.E.M.A.. It’s a fact.”

    Translating lyrics are completely subjective and up to the translator. In fact, you could never really get an exact translation unless you were directly collaborating with the artists themselves. Translating lyrics is a process of conveying the feelings meant in the original language into the 2nd language in the most natural, grammatical, and most close to what was actually felt as possible. This is hard because your translation is all focused on your interpretation of it.

    For example, I feel fairly confident on the below lyric translations that I did myself but they could done just as well by another person with slightly different words.

    北川謙二

    永遠より続くように

    #39795

    Joel
    Member

    I was thinking something similar. Song lyrics are hard enough to translate even when they’re in English already. =P

    #39797

    Anonymous

    I’m gonna be so mad if Missing’s Nigga post doesn’t get deleted, but my Sandwhich Haiku did.

     

    Yes I’m still mad about 2 years ago.

    • This reply was modified 11 years, 6 months ago by  .
    #39799

    Astralfox
    Member

    Sandwhich Haiku?

    I wasn’t around 2 years ago, tell me more.

    #39800

    missingno15
    Member

    #39801

    eru777
    Member

    lmao !

    Hey! Lip them? Lip them? What?
    #39802

    Hashi hasn’t been on here in a long, long time, so I’m assuming that post will be safe ;) I haven’t seen his red text in a while.

    I’ve been here about 2.5 years, but I’m struggling to remember any sandwich haiku; it does sound vaguely familiar though… You had a fair number of posts edited/deleted back when you were on here regularly, I remember :P

    #39821

    missingno15
    Member

    Probably the most knowledgeable/experienced is missingno15, but he’s still a… “beginner” *cue music*

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