I’ve been able to stick to my goal of studying every day. I have a lot of free time on my hands at the moment so I haven’t really set up a set amount of time for studying. I have been able to do at least an hour a day of study though.

I’m actually kind of surprised at how much I’ve been enjoying it. Most times I’m having so much fun learning about all these new things, that it doesn’t even feel like I’m actually studying or working (except when I’m doing Anki review—that definitely feels like work :P).

As much as I wish it were completely smooth sailing so far, I’ve had quite a lot of doubts/struggles. Definitely the hardest part for me has been the speaking. I have a very noticeable speech impediment so I don’t really even speak English well (my native language >_<). It’s something that I’ve been super self-conscious of since I was little and struggled with a lot; and through beginning to study Japanese, I’ve become increasingly aware of how many words that are insanely difficult for me to say. So I’ve had a lot of thoughts about giving up. Maybe I’m just wasting time and won’t be able to get to the level of Japanese fluency that I want to. That there are too many hurdles that I’m not strong enough to overcome… Basically I’ve gone through the whole self-pity party deal. :p

The thing is though, I’ve come to a resolute decision. I’m going to pour my all in to learning Japanese. I know my doubts aren’t gonna disappear, and my speaking problem is definitely not gonna go away over night (Oh man, I’d love that! x_x). But I’ve come to realize that the only real way I’m gonna fail is if I let myself give in to my fears once again. I’ve let my self-doubts hold me back far too many times, and I don’t want to be the person that never strives to reach beyond their own self-appointed limits. It’s gonna be hard, and I’m probably gonna continue to suck at Japanese for a while, but I’ll keep going back to study everyday. I will open Anki and review that one sentence that feels like a tongue twister to me, or I’ll remember that kanji that keeps slipping my mind.

My efforts haven’t been completely without results so far though! When I first started out the ら、り、る、れ、and ろ sounds were like hell for me. I spent a ton of time searching up how to pronounce them and then even more time practicing saying them aloud. I wouldn’t say I’ve perfected them, but I’m pronouncing them a whole lot better then I was originally. :D

The next boss to conquer is し and ち—and boy those are rough for me. Good thing for me there’s gonna be plenty of opportunity to practice them (seems like every other Japanese word has し or ち in it o.o).

Sorry I went in to that whole spiel. This was just mostly a lot of stuff that I’ve been thinking about for the passed few weeks, and letting it out like this (somewhere where other people can see it), kind of helps to solidify some of my feelings if that makes any sense. :P

I hope everyone else’s goals and studies are going well. (^_^)d

• This reply was modified 11 years, 9 months ago by  Tyler.